naku naman bez.. kung makapag forward ka naman! ehe..

got this text message just a couple of hours ago..

sssoooo TRUE!! (funny how it seems..)

(this was written dec.12,2011. around 7pm. the time i have read a message)

dear God, forgive me for being harsh but we both know how my mind works when i’m mad. You know me more than myself and i offer these thoughts only to You. thank you for your never ending love and God bless the rich men with poor souls.

just read a shocking, juvenile, no delicadeza message from someone i never expected to write such shit! too much pain, rage and loathe for the person who wrote this to me at the moment. mixed emotions, unclear and disorganized thoughts, angry facial expression, shaking hands and tears running down fast from my beautiful eyes! (at least i’m quite sane enough to put the “beautiful” word in there! ahahaha)

truly, there’s this one educated, well groomed, well mannered (or so i thought) guy who dismantled my sanity and all the respect i had for him. for the longest time, i looked up to this guy even so i know how broken he really is as a family man. i never judged, zipped my mouth for unearthly mishaps i knew about him just to save him and everyone else involved from much pain. well, just because i cared about him, about them.

(note that while i am typing this, true to my heart, no JOKE that i feel for him too..)

i never meant for things to end this way, but there are really things in life that we can not control. events that make each relationship stronger or the other way around. there’s so much i want to say, so much that i want to slap on their faces really hard. this could’ve been easier if there are no other poeple that i care about involved but there is. i am free willed to say and do what i want in as much as i know of but since i care about my family (immediate for that matter), i will let this pass by and vent on this so called blog. who ever invented internet, i thank you much for giving me another channel in venting out. at least this will keep me intact!

let me just please say what i can not say.. this may be quite long but i’ll get through this. i’ll start with: “fuck y’all!”

to start with, i never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings or destroy anyone’s image but tell you what, there’s really nothing i have destroyed coz you have already been broken in the eyes of everyone else, you just dont know. if i wanted to destroy you to other people, i couldve told everyone we know about the skeleton in your family’s closet. (skeletonS i should say!) it is not my fault that im better  at what i do (eg. speaking in english, meeting people who will care much for us) nor my loved ones. can’t you just be happy about that?! you have you’re own share you are rich and we are not! (and that’s just it). garbage looking? well, maybe, with complexon and branded clothes, that’ll be me. but hey! grab a mirror, inspect your face and deep within to see if who’s uglier, dirtier! if we are talking about face value? sorry dear, i will bet my life on it, i am more beautiful than you know who!

enough kate. lesson learned: “never ever trust anyone nor yourself when venting out. coz you will never know who you really can trust!.. that less talk is less mistake”

SHIT HAPPENS! things like this should happen once in a while so we can assess ourselves in everything we do. to know our limits and most of all, to value the people that really care and throw away those that are fake! to love ourselves more than anyone else and to fight what we believe in! to never let anyone step on us without bringing out a good fight! 

KARMA will work for me..

BAGUIO2

who would’ve thought that I will be loving it here after three long years of saying “no” to this contact center?

I remembered how I chose to stay somewhere farther away from home and turned Sitel down.. 

then, I so wanted to be independent, to live my own life away from home, to be like a bird (that i honestly didn’t regret at all). being away made me see the bigger picture. made me realize that life aint no fairytale. that no one really sleeps in a bed of roses. I met different people in all walks of life each teaching me something new that I now find very useful. I’ve learned that no one is the same as the other one. in one way or another, there’s always something different about someone, no matter how alike people could be. WE ARE ALL UNIQUE. I’ve realized how important it is to respect others to gain respect for yourself too. I learned that I can also love people with all my heart even if they are not related to me by blood. I’ve learned the real meaning of friendship, romantic love and life as a whole. most especially, after all this lessons in life, I came to realize that at the end of the day, its still my family that matters. Now I believe that no matter how bad (or worst) a person could have been, there will always be people who can accept them after shitting around.

MY FAMILY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME. I don’t even know how on earth could I have deserved such loving and supportive family members. it just goes to show that God created us on His own likeness. capable of loving unconditionally. (its sad that others are so blinded with too much hatred in their hearts :c)

having that experience made me who I am today. bolder, stronger and free willed. 

my story didn’t end there though. yet, its just an ending of one of the chapters of my own book. I’m now writing the new chapter: “my Sitel life”, learning never stops, it just do when you choose to. I am my own writer, I’ll live it the way I want taking my past as an inspiration (just so I won’t commit those same mistakes again.. ^-^)

like Sitel, my life now has a path:

-Vision.. Passion.. Purpose..-

nice nice.. i wanna check this out too.. ^-^

pinoytumblr:

Bakla, Bakla, Paano Ka Ginawa?
by Don Jaucian

Zombadings 1: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington (2011)
D: Jade Castro
S: Martin Escudero, Kerbie Zamora, Lauren Young, John Regala, Eugene Domingo, Janice De Belen, Odette Khan, Roderick Paulate

There is this one scene in Zombadings 1: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington where Daniel Fernando’s character harks about the threat homosexuals pose to the future of the country. A Philippine flag is seen just behind him while he continues to rant bitterly about a gay-free society, almost utopian, and just before he further drives the nail into the coffin, a passing marching band, decked in the most vibrant of colors, drowns out his voice, obscuring whatever’s left of his vile intentions and supposed righteousness. It is this scene that the flimsy heap of accusations and nitpicking on Zombadings miss, turning down every argument thatZombadingsis an anti-gay film.

Dismissing the film as a medium that reinforces the ridicule and stereotyping of homosexuals proves a rather literal, low-minded viewing of the film, a belaboring approach that is hinged on an even flimsier outlook about the LGBT community and prejudices. Above all else, the curse on Remington (Martin Escudero) isn’t a sentence or “the worst thing that could ever happen to any person.” It is lesson in empathy, a deserved comeuppance for his ridicule of homosexuals. 

Veering off from that close-minded boxing, it’s actually overwhelming to watch Zombadings in a packed theater, a crowd brimming with a large percentage of gay men looking all sharp and dressed-up (if you opened your Grindr app in CCP that night, most guys online would have been within an inch away), all eagerly awaiting a film that took two years to make. Everyone broke into hysterical fits laughter every time a punch line is delivered or when Remington flails, shrieks, gyrates, or even when he just raises his eyebrows. The UP Cine Adarna screening is of course famed for the recording of the audience’s shrieks during a particular scene in the movie, much like when it was intially screened in Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo in CCP. It is one full minute of screams and cheers, enough to give you a sense of what exactly the film is about. The jokes are delivered so fast, the audience’s response occasionaly drowns out the film’s sound. 

Martin Escudero owns Zombadings. When he emerges out of their house wearing an ultra-tight blouse with the words “Hot Girl” on it, he sashays like a newly outed gay dude who just discovered the delights the world has to offer. His fingers flutter like a butterfly carnival, underscored by his deliciously flamboyant delivery of lines in gay lingo, a language that is an astounding proof of gay culture’s impact in our contemporary society. 

Considering the issue about “the language of the learned” that’s currently brewing, we may argue that gayspeak may just as well be it. Within the span of two years that Zombadings was written, changes in the gayspeak lines of the movie were also made due to the language’s rapid evolution. Gayspeak assimilates global culture penetrating (no pun intended) each of its aspect. It’s hard no

kikay time!

this is what boredom brings me lately.. all about myself!!

funny how i now do my nail filings and polishing.. then i always go to the salon to have someone do it for me.. aside from the obvious reason of cross cutting, i am also so dead bored i am left with no choice but to turn nail polishing a DYO (do it your own) thing!

next thing ill do soon, color my own hair!

one thing i can swear i’ll never do though: tame my own eyebrows.. ^-^

its almost 3weeks now since i lost my wifi connection in my room.. laptop, ipod, DSi, and even phone are useless now.. worst of all, i cant connect to my old account on FB.. i felt so lost for a while then i suddenly got used to it!

now, its OK. its actually better. i feel like i’m suddenly on earth. ^-^.. i finally started watching TV shows again and joke around with my brothers and text friends. i still play using my ipod and DSi though but only if i feel terribly bored. i always crave to go out and always excited to take a bath! ahahaha ^-^

loosing internet connection is not really that bad! im finally loving it!

yet, i still have plans of getting our router fixed.

for the meantime, i am virtually dead.. see u soon virtual life.. virtual friends..

time check: 1:54am and I am still wide awake. it’ll be stupid to blame my being a call center agent in the past for my body clock ‘cause hello?! it has been almost two months since I resigned. at first it really is to blame since I was used to working late night or the what we call “grave yard”. but then came online games. well, virtual cooking, farming and fashion games specifically. I am so addicted to them that I’d be a mortal sin of I don’t get to attend to them once a day and well, in to the set time that I should. plants will wither, dishes will spoil, animals will die..

sad to admit but recently, this virtual life is all I’ve got. it made me satisfied with being a couch potato and bed ridden. now, who says being these two is boring? its fun for as long as you have internet connection! you get to create your own little drama, own big life! without no one minding you at all! ^-^

honestly, it really doesn’t make me proud at all. it doesn’t make me productive and its making me bigger! no exercise and its even making my eyes weaker. its not healthy actually. but, as for now, what can I do? this is the only thing that’s keeping me sane. its really high time to get back to working again.

goodluck kate!

i was born a fighter! (well, that’s what everyone i know says).. i remember one of my friends saying: “what catee wants, catee gets”! indeed! but as we grow older and experience more things in life, our perspectives change.

well, i don’t say i am giving up on life already. i am too young for that. with life, my game is still on going. i will never give up till get what i deserve and realize everything i have ever dreamed off, besides, there’s more that life can offer. there’s more that i can get from it.

what this giving up here is about this someone i am starting to like.. i was just about to post on the starting line when the opponent calls for a “win by default!”.. its like playing on my DSi when suddenly, its battery empty. like a basketball game where the other team came in 15mins late or a pirated dvd where the ending suddenly shut..

i am giving up on, a well, on liking someone.. coz, i have yet started and he unintentionally shut me up already!

not my lost, yet, sayang!! aahaha ^-^

then there’s this!!

deym! i always wanted to have my tat colored.. thinking about how expensive its gonna be makes me think twice right now.. (hello?! i am jobless!!?) well honestly, its the pain that’s making me doubt to have it colored. i remember how i drunk 3 bottles or RH when i had my tattoo! seeing the machine hit my leg and my blood quite splashing aint really such a pleasing scenario.. ^-^

but the after process is really fulfilling!!

seeing your tattoo still a wound with all that bloating and red discoloration is an art! like telling everyone, HEY! I’VE INJURED THE PAIN IN GETTING A TAT! it hurts but its a wonderful feeling after..

plus the fact that people keep on guessing what my tat is for and who the hell is ELIJAH SIMONE..

jay, once i decided to get my daisy colored.. i’ll PM you for sure!!

there are some instances when i can’t help but be a teacher (that i really am..) moments that after, i would just say: “i could’ve just let it slip away and ignored it” coz i know i might have hurt someone’s ego.. but then again, as so they say: truth hurts! sometimes, people need to be corrected so same shit wont happen again. for their own sake.

i myself stand to be corrected. i would gracefully accept criticism coz i know i will learn from them.

when i see something that’s wrong, i nonchalantly correct it, its not that i mean shame for the person being corrected but because its an impulsive reply. i cant help it, i was trained to be that way.

i am not perfect myself but at least, for me, i see that being corrected by someone else is normal, healthy.

and as what they always say: THERE’S ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT..

*thought triggered..

if my future will be as bright as this bra, i sure will buy 12 dozens of this!

deym this is really a killer! imma need to check this out in stores NOW!! ^-^

ive seen the movie on where this was taken.. i just cant vividly remember the title, is it from Scary Movie?

anyhow, i was just thinking out loud if PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) knew about this?! guess, this thought is supposed to be laughed at! ^-^

seriously now, i never liked cats but i still feel sad about those stray cats wondering at night or even at high noon. those homeless creatures deserve love too! if u happen to see one and u still have a room for pets, please adopt! ahahha

i hope i made sense

watched Just Like Heaven again last night and just like before and every time im done watching it, i cant help but wonder if it actually happens in real love. its just so fascinating! someone meeting ones soul, interacting for that matter, then falling inlove to an almost dead person!

scary but it would be thrilling if i can experience it myself. ^-^

and also, from my point of view, it is justifiable that a person will not remember the people she interacted with when she was a ghost if she hasn’t really met them in person yet.maybe as a dream..

it was indeed that elizabeth’s unfinished business was david coz they were supposed to be meeting on the day of the accident. and of course, for the sake of DESTINY.. TRUE LOVE..

cheezy but really admirable movie!

there’s something in this page that i can’t help but dream on!

unknown to most, it has always been my dream to become an events organizer. planning weddings, debuts, birthday parties and other events has always been my dream. then and till now, i thought of people praising how creative i am in realizing their dream parties.. it never fails to make me smile every time i think of someone begging me to organize his/her most important day. 

Green Lace has been in my mind. friendster blog and my diaries for the longest time. and now, little by little i will finally make it happen! some of my closees will definitely help me. mamang and my casin jerryl.. others are welcome to join!

I’ve got what it takes to be what i want in Green Lace (and I’m confident about that). i have all the other resources needed to materialize an event. I’m positive about my partners’ assistance and loyalty too.

all i need now is you! a willing and in dire need of Green Lace’s assistance customer!

who the heck cant remember this heartwarming lines from a famous romantic movie? where Jamie and Landon are the subject?

go figure.. ^-^

 i can vividly remember how i swooned and watched this movie like 1million times then.. the lines that are really killer and the undoubtedly unique love story of a young love that turns to be the greatest love anyone may know.. 

its touching to see how the impossible turned out to be possible just to fulfill a dying lover’s wish. check out the link.. isn’t that just so romantic?

movies like this make me wonder: when will i have my share of Landon?